…is a pair of wool socks and an altimeter. The wool socks I desperately need, because right now I have nothing warm to put on my feet. The altimeter is just a lark. It would be fun to know what kind of elevation I’m gaining and losing each day.
Casual students of irony will see where this story is headed.
I’m convinced there isn’t a pair of wool socks in all of China. Not on the frigid Tibetan plateau. Not on the icy Mongolian steppe. The closest thing I found was a synthetic CoolMax blend, which I would have happily purchased if the store’s entire inventory hadn’t consisted of a single pair of women’s smalls.
But what’s this? You do have an altimeter? For $100? Well, I’m certainly not spending…that kind of money on an unnecessary…so shiny. Unnh…must not…purchase…pretty gadget. Don’t gaze at the dial. Look away!
This is silly. Altimeters don’t even work that well. They measure air pressure, which fluctuates with weather. If I really want to know my altitude, I need a GPS receiver.
Like this Garmin eTrex right here. 12-satellite tracking. 5.3 ounces. At $300, more than twice as expensive as in the U.S. Did I mention it stores up to 500 waypoints? So much functionality…
Argh! I order you to strap me to my bed! Hide my money belt! Help me, please…
